Sunday 27th December 2009 - Wet, Dry, or Just Slightly Moist

          I went out for Sunday Lunch and discovered they don't sell beer (well, alcohol of any kind) till 3pm.  An obvious discrimination against catholic gentlemen coming home from mass.  When I got back, I thought it was time for a bit of research into the licensing laws here.

          It turns out Kentucky counties and cities can decide for themselves whether to be wet or dry, or one of the several flavours of 'moist'.  Glasgow is currently 'by-the-drink' moist.  That's why the supermarkets don't sell beer": nobody sells drink for consumption 'off the premises'.  Even when they sell it by the drink, that has to constitute less than 30% of their gross turnover.

          Of course, it all started with women: the Women's Christian Temperance League, back in the 1870s.  They campaigned, along with the more-honestly named Prohibition Party, for prohibition.  Glasgow, profaning its name, voted to go dry in 1900.  Then, of course, the whole country went dry in 1919 with prohibition.

          By 1933 they had discovered that the cure was worse then the disease, and no tax revenue to pay for the new problems, so thay repealed prohibition.  Glasgow, along with everyone else, voted itself wet again, but reverted to dry in a couple of years.

          Up till, would you believe, the end of 2007.  When it voted to go moist, allowing restaurants to sell alcohol 'by the drink'.  The campaign and vote were based on employment arguments.  It's also true (I didn't know this) that the statistics show that dry counties suffer more drink-related traffic accidents than wet ones.  The statisticians conjecture that it's because, typically, they would drink-and-drive further.

          All of which means you can buy drinks, but not buy drink.  And not even that on Sunday till after three.  A Glasgow with a difference, you might think, but when I was young, Scotland was much the same.

          Glasgow has a large, expensive-looking 'country club' (that's American for 'golf club').  That's another flavour of 'moist': golf clubs have their own rules.  I wouldn't be surprised to discover that the toffs have been drinking themselves silly here since the 1930s, while tut-tutting at the lower orders.

          This being Kentucky, the popular joke on the subject is that Bourbon County is dry, while Christian County is wet.

 

          Later that night, suffering severe dehydration, I'm out watching the Denver Colts playing the Philadelphia Eagles.  The Eagles, apparently as usual, contrive to win by a field goal in the dying seconds.  But at the end  the sponsor credits come up, and it says, I kid you not, (get an image of an American Football player into your head) "Menswear by Calvin Klein".  Finally, those funny outfits are explained.

          Then the UK (that's the university here) are in a college-ball 'bowl' match.  That's some kind of league (conference) championship.  My neighbour tells me that there is an American College Championship match after all the bowl games.  But it's not a playoff series, its done by polling and computer selection.  They really ought to extend that idea to the whole season (they could call it "Reality Bowl") and save a lot of young men getting hurt.