Tuesday 14 April 2009

Tuesday 14th April 2009 – Goodbye QM2, Hello World

If you're going to have a big adventure, it's best not to rush into it.  The QM2 must be just about the best way in the world to approach an American adventure slowly.  A week of 25-hour days with no escape; an ocean to contemplate; dressing up for dinner in good company; regular exercise; and a bit of boozing.  It lulled me, it definitely lulled me.

Then I had to meet the Department of Homeland Security.  The nice young lady at the American Embassy in London had told me it would be the DHS at the port of entry who decided how long I could stay.  She said I had to have my itinerary prepared, clear evidence of how long my big adventure would take.   This I did: in spades; but to no avail.  If the system is as it was explained to me, it is simply not possible to do what I want.  Except by rolling with the punches.

The DHS officer had a Spanish name; and, of course, a gun.  But it could have been government anywhere: "naw, mate, six mumfs, port policy, init."  And disinterested in any variation, or any reason for any variation.  "You can apply to extend it.  Go to 26 Federal Plaza."  26 Federal Plaza made me take most of my clothes off and pushed me through a x-ray machine.  They poured my emergency flask of whisky down the drain.  Then they gave me the extension application form and told me I had to send it with a cheque for $300 dollars.  That's not to buy an extension, of course, that's to get the application processed.

So either I do it in their timescale, or I find a way round their rules.  It's just how you have to deal with government, isn't it?  There can never be a meeting of minds:  there is no mind to meet.  I vowed I would be positive about all the people I met, but already I have an exception.  And not just the people I met: the whole class of people they represent.

Tomorrow I must start to formulate plan B.  I'll show them!  Tonight, a few beers and some jazz: pretend I'm still on the Mary.

No comments: