Monday 22 February 2010

Sunday 21st February 2010 - Abstinence for Everybody

          It's difficult to be a full-scale roman emperor during lent, but I did manage the reading of several famous short stories in the bath.  The most entertaining was "Thrawn Janet" by Robert Louis Stevenson, because he's written it in dialect (Doric, I think), and it only makes sense if you read it out loud.  There is something very decadent about using endless supplies of someone else's hot water.
          I decided that, it being Sunday, when Butler county forbids the sale of alcohol, that if I didn't go out for lunch, I wouldn't get to speak to anyone at all for the whole day.  Eating out in America is fraught with risk for the dieter.  Just reading a menu here can make you fat.  Actually eating can make you, well, American.  I find a salad item which can be modified.  I issue complicated instructions about what must be left out altogether, and what can be delivered "on the side" for final checking, and manage to get a reasonable meal.
          Then a woman rushes in and gets them to change the TV Channel urgently.  Even although I was actually reading, my first instinct is to bristle at not being asked, but it turns out she wants to watch NASCAR, which I had forgotten was on, so that accounted for the rest of the afternoon.  She is rather surprised at their quaint licensing laws, but contents herself with lemonade.  I tell her that's got just as many calories as the booze, and she should try the local water (which, by the way, is so soft it's hard to get the soap off your hands).  But she is American, and can't imagine having something plain (here they make the lemonade for you, right in front of your eyes).
         

1 comment:

Joe said...

What is NASCAR?
Is this the latest American challenge to AVATAR for an OSCAR in the next couple of weeks or so?